Instant Attitude Adjustment

Here’s a quick two-part formula for shifting into a positive, optimistic view of yourself, your health, your relationship or your financial situation. You know how you sometimes get into a mood or attitude that is not quite the one you want? We all do…and since we now know that feeling good and having a positive attitude is the key to creating the life you choose, we need tools for getting back “in the groove” when something has pulled our attention where we don’t want it to be.

So, here’s your Instant Attitude Adjustment:
1.) Whatever is going on, shift your focus to what you want. Be sure you stay focused on what you want, why you want it, and how good it’s going to feel when you get it.
2.) Then come back to the present moment and look at all of the positive aspects that exist right now. There are always tons of positive aspects in the present that get overlooked in our constant search to make things better. In this part of the exercise, you’re diving deep into appreciation of what is… regarding your life, your health, your relationship, job or financial picture. Can’t find any positive aspects? Look again, I assure you they are there! By practicing this on a regular, ongoing basis, you will find yourself getting into a positive feeling groove that will make you smarter, kinder and more successful in all aspects of your life.

Goodfinding Videos

Here’s a great video about kids on a baseball team placing compassion and love about competition in a very surprising way. Do yourself a favor and watch it now! Notice what happens in your heart when you see the true sportsmanship at work, and the best of the human spirit coming to the fore. If you’ve got about 16 minutes to enjoy a short film, check out this fun and funny feel-good video called, “Validation.” I like it so much that I put it on my home page for web visitors to enjoy. It points out how we all need and don’t get enough validation from the world around us. To be validated simply means to have someone acknowledge that you have value, and a place in the world. One of my favorite recording artists is Keb Mo, who actually has the heart and soul to write and sing lyrics like, “When you’re feelin’ like dust on an empty shelf, you’ve got to love yourself,” which you’ll find on this CD. Also watch this video in which he is joined by Bonnie Raitt in singing the amazing song, “Just Like You.” Even thought Keb Mo’s main genre is blues, you’ll find a lot of great feel-good music coming from this man!

Love The One You’re With

Well, you’ve probably noticed that wherever you go, there you are. You know how familiar is the saying, “You’re always your own worst enemy.” Think about how less familiar is the statement, “You’re always your own best friend.” Now I ask you, which is a better idea? Doesn’t it make more sense to take your best friend everywhere you go than your “worst enemy?” If you really want to love the one you’re with, you need to start with the one who is there all of the time! I know this is easier said than done, which is why I’m writing about it. Here are some things you can do to love yourself more:

• Do the “Head To Toe Appreciation” process on a regular basis (scroll down on the above page to see the article)
  
• Write a letter of admiration and respect to yourself as if you were your own best friend or a family member who has always loved you unconditionally
• Take a moment and look at all of the things you do everyday to improve yourself and your life, and all of the things you do that make the world better for others

The concept of the Inner Child came about partly because it’s easier for many of us to love a child than an adult. Check out these affirmations or this Nurturing Your Inner Child audio CD or download. Quietly, secretly, deep inside you know you are a good person with a good heart. Don’t tell anyone, but remember it all of the time.

The Science Of Happiness

I’m reading a great book entitled, Happiness: Unlocking The Mysteries Of Psychological Wealth, and I highly recommend it! The authors, Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener encourage us to embrace happiness “for its functions rather than its pleasantries.” Not the least of the functions of happiness is that challenges look easier when you are happy. You might see “getting happy” as a way of filling your tank for the next task at hand as you would fill your vehicle with fuel. In some of the research cited, the authors report that people estimating the height of a hill guessed it smaller if they were listening to Mozart (upbeat) than they did if they were listening to Mahler (despondent). The book is also very balanced, talking about the downside of “too much happiness” and the positive value of negative emotions. True to its title, however, the message of the entire book comes through strongly in the title of Part II, “Happy People Function Better.” This is what Goodfinding is all about, and it is very much in line with Financial Health Emotional Wealth!

The Art Of Savoring

Savoring is simply prolonging the goodness. You want the good in your life to grow, and what you pay attention to grows! Savoring is a matter of paying deep and long attention to the subtle nuances of each good thing in your life. Right now, you have millions of bodily functions that are working to keep you healthy, billions of brain cells working to make everything better, friends and family who love you exactly as you are, and conveniences that make your life interesting and fun. Savor each of these. Expand into that good feeling that comes from appreciating (adding value to) what is good, right and working right now. If you’re a parent, or just want to feel good, watch this one-minute movie that does an excellent job of communicating the value of savoring.

When you savor the good, you are connecting with the very best of who you are as a person, increasing brain activity, improving immune function and easing the stress on your heart (watch this video to learn more). And the whole world just got a little better, because you took a few seconds to savor the good in yourself and your world. Now you will return to the problem solving and task completion with a little inspiration, relaxation and perhaps enthusiasm that wasn’t there before. And thank that little problem-solver and trouble-finder for the years of dedicated service. That part of your mind is only trying to make your life better, and it’s not supposed to be the boss. That’s your job. So, as the inner leader of your own attention and focus, look at the big picture and find the good, and get inspired about the next best thing to do.

The Art Of Receiving

Consider the possibility that receiving is every bit as important as giving. When you give a gift to a loved one, for example, think of the gratitude you feel when they receive it graciously–especially if you are not sure if they really like it! On a bigger scale, the art of receiving is a matter of saying, “Yes!” to the good things coming your way. Now expand that to saying “Yes!” to everything. Now, this only makes sense if you are an intelligent optimist, and looking for the good in everything that comes your way. Remember (from the last newsletter), the optimist’s strategy is to say “All this and more” to the good things that come, and “How can I get smarter and stronger from this” to the not-so-good things that come. The beauty of this “Yes to everything” strategy is that it virtually eliminates resistance, and resistance is considered to be one of the greatest causes of stress, frustration, anger and related illness. For more on the “Art of Receiving” read this article in Ode Magazine.

Optimism Now? With All Of This?

Yes! By all means, now! Here’s an idea for you–you are a self-healing organism living in a self-correcting world. There is a profound, powerful ever-present force within you and all around you that intends for things to get better. So, you might ask, why are things not getting better for so many of us? Well, look at the article above…we all get to choose, and what we pay attention to grows! I have been paying attention to the self-organizing, self-correcting, self-healing process within and all around us for many years, and–no big surprise–I see more evidence of it everywhere. When you align yourself with this ongoing improvement process, you become a part of it and your benefits grow and grow!

Now, let’s look at what is on so many minds–the economy. It too is a self-organizing, self-correcting system. A minor downturn is often called “a correction,” so we could call this current downturn a huge correction. And where do we end up after a correction? More correct! There is no doubt that correction was needed, and now it is happening. Be the intelligent optimist, and look for ways to make this the best thing that ever happened to you! This is truly an amazing time to be alive, filled with tremendous opportunity.

Goodfinding Stress Reliever

Speaking of receiving, I recently received a gift of the emWave Personal Stress Reliever created by the Institute of HeartMath. It is a very cool little hand-held device that helps you to create a smooth heart rhythm while lowering your stress level. The instructions tell you to:

1.) Breathe slowly and regularly (the device helps with this)
2.) Imagine your breath coming and going through your heart
3.) Focus your mind on memories or thoughts that create positive feelings.

While you do this heart-breathing and Goodfinding, the device gives you bio-feedback letting you know when you are successfully lowering your stress level. It is small, light and easy to use, making it the perfect stress management tool for anyone so inclined. I especially like the focus on good feelings, since (as you probably know) I am a big proponent of feeling good for all of the body/mind/life benefits it brings.

What Is Your Theory?

The freedom and responsibility that comes with knowing that you create your own reality is wonderful on many different levels. It takes you out of the victim mode and puts you in the driver’s seat–which is where most of us want to be. The process by which you create your reality can be seen like this:

1.) You have a theory–whether you know it or not, you have a set of expectations about what’s going to happen. This is your theory, and it is based on your life experience and your unique personal tendencies.
2.) You want to be right. This is human nature. You are a truly amazing, brilliant being with wisdom and power beyond what you have ever imagined, and so it’s natural for you to want to be right.
3.) You look for evidence to support your theory, so that you can be right. That is where the creativity enters…in your looking and finding process.

If you have an optimistic theory, you will naturally be a Goodfinder, looking for good things to show that you’re right about your theory. Do I even need to point out the problem with pessimism here? I will, just in case…if you are predicting negative events in the future, you will look for evidence to support your predictions (your theory) and guess what!!! You’ll find it! This magnificent world has so much in it, that you can find evidence to support any theory you come up with. Look for the good (without ignoring the big picture), and you will create the good, inviting the good to you. Be an intelligent optimist and you will create a life experience for yourself that is good and just keeps getting better!

The Art Of Savoring

One of the best ways to increase the good in your life and to invite more is to savor the good that is already here.

Start with your body. Be aware of all of the parts that are working, say “Thank You” to them and move on to the next ones. Start at your head or your feet, and savor the good feelings associated with all of the parts of your body that feel good (or don’t hurt). This will actually reduce any pain you may be having, and increase the healing in areas where you may be having trouble.

Savor–it means to relish, to enjoy, to appreciate, to expand and prolong. Become a master of savoring, and more and more good will come to you!

Eating a good meal, laughing at a funny situation, looking at a beautiful sunrise, or the smiling face of a friend–all are worthy of savoring.